Fence Post of Faith—Feb 2009.

 

I received this from Laura Shelton of Buffalo Mo. It worth sharing.

 

Living with O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome

Just recently, after years of research, I have finally been able to
give a name to what my wife and I have been living with for years.

It's an affliction, for sure, which when undiagnosed and misunderstood
can devastate and literally tear a family apart. Very little is known about
O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome. But it is my hope this article will generate
interest from researchers involved in the equine and Psychological sciences. You will, no doubt, begin to identify similar Symptoms in your own family
and hopefully now be able to cope.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE EQUINE ATTACHMENT NEUROSIS SYNDROME O.C.E.A.N.S

It’s usually found in the female and can manifest itself anytime from
birth to the golden years. Symptoms may appear any time and may even go
dormant in the late teens, but the syndrome frequently re-emerges in later
years.


Symptoms vary widely in both number and degree of severity. Allow me to
share some examples which are most prominent in our home.

The afflicted individual:

1. Can smell moldy hay at ten paces, but can't tell whether milk has
gone bad until it turns chunky.

2. Finds the occasional "Buck and Fart" session hugely entertaining,
but severely chastises her husband for similar antics.

3. Will spend hours cleaning her tack, but wants to eat on paper plates so there are no dishes.

4. Enjoys picking out four stalls twice a day, but insists on having
a housekeeper mop the kitchen floor once a week.

5. Will spend an hour trimming and braiding her horses mane, but wears
a baseball cap so she doesn't waste time brushing her own hair.

6. Will dig through manure piles daily looking for worms, but does
not fish.

7. Will not hesitate to administer a rectal exam up to her shoulder,
but finds cleaning out the Thanksgiving turkey cavity for dressing quite
repulsive.

8. By memory can mix eight different supplements in the correct
proportions, but can't make macaroni and cheese that isn't soupy.


9. Twice a week will spend an hour scrubbing algae from the water
tanks, but has a problem cleaning lasagna out of the casserole dish.

10. Will pick a horse's nose, and call it cleaning, but becomes
verbally violent when her husband picks his.

11. Can sit through a four-hour session of Lance Graves Barrel racing clinic, but is unable to make it through a half-hour episode of Cops.

The spouse of an afflicted victim:

1. Must come to terms with the fact there is no cure, and only
slightly effective treatments. The syndrome may be genetic or caused by
the inhaling of manure particles which, I propose, have an adverse
effect on female hormones.

2. Must adjust the family budget to include equine items - Hay,
veterinarian services, farrier  services, truck, trailer, barrel saddle,  boots, clothes,supplements, tack, equine masseuse and acupuncturist - as well as the(mandatory) equine spiritual guide, etc. Once you have identified a Monthly figure, never look at it again. Doing so will cause tightness in
your chest, nausea and occasional diarrhea.

3. Must realize that your spouse has no control over this
affliction. More often than not, she will deny a problem even exists as denial is common.

4. Must form a support group. You need to know you're not alone -
and there's no shame in admitting your wife has a problem. My support group,
for instance, involves men who truly enjoy sports, Four-day hunting trips and lots of scotch. Most times, she is unaware that I am gone besides she can hook up drive that truck better than I can.

In closing I want to read this verse from Proverbs 9:10-12

Skilled living gets it start in the Fear-of-God, insight into life from knowing a Holy God. It’s through me, Lady Wisdom, that your life deepens, and the years of your life ripen. Live wisely and wisdom will permeate your life.

Do something nice in February for that person that is suffering from O.C.E.A.N.S. syndrome, instead of a nice card, flowers, or candy for Valentine’s day, just pay her entry fees to the next barrel bash and take her out to eat, And tell her how much she really means to you.

Adios Jeff Metcalf

See you at the next Barrel Bash